Naturally Getting Pregnant

I get to go home today. It sounds so good: a soft bed, a beautiful garden, and my cats to curl up next to me. But I notice that I feel empty. Very empty. Images are going through my head of what it would be like to leave the hospital with my newborn child. I [...]

It’s Monday and the doctor who conducted the surgery for my ectopic pregnancy is back. He calls Richard and me into his office, and we settle into the chairs across from him like a couple of regulars. In my hand is the print out of my surgery photos - not for the faint of heart. It [...]

The rain hit my window outside and the dark sky showed no signs of getting lighter. It was by all means a dreary day. Before long my husband and mother-in-law came with fresh croissants from the bakery. We talk and I when my husband leaves the room briefly my mother-in-law insists that I partake in [...]

I guess I didn’t give it much thought, but the first night after a surgery is a very long one. My body is exhausted - not really interested in sleep but in survival mode. Nurses come and go regularly to check my blood pressure, empty my drainage bag, and to give me pain medication.
None of [...]

My mind is trying to grasp reality: I have an ectopic pregnancy; it could explode at any moment.
The mass has grown to approximately 2 cm wide in my tube. With urgency in his voice my doctor asks when I last ate. I stumble over my words still trying to swallow my diagnosis, “About 10 minutes [...]

I’m wide awake. Staring into the darkness, I have no idea what time it is. I fell asleep so early last night it could be as early as 4am. Quietly, I try to get out of bed and head to the bathroom. My roommate is apparently also awake because she asks me if I need a [...]

This clinic is getting too familiar. Today’s blood test is what I’m considering the final call HCG. The value didn’t go up on Wednesday and if it does not go up today then I will have broken the pattern of increasing every three days. It will remove the tiniest bit of hope buried deep inside [...]

Going in was easier today. All I needed to do was get my blood drawn to test my HCG value and give the doctor the ultrasound results from yesterday. In and out. That was my plan. It all looked good with a waiting room with only two other patients. Before I even cracked open my [...]

A long weekend of crying and healing. We went into the doctor this morning. The tears tried to escape my swollen eyes. This place was “the place I lost my pregnancy”.
My regular doctor wasn’t in so we saw another doctor. Although he was a little lost as to what my situation was he was attentive, [...]

How better to spend the holidays than trying to make a family? We’ve been trying for two and a half years now but we really wanted to dedicate ourselves to it. No, not by locking ourselves in the bedroom with whip cream but by going to foothills of the Bavarian Alps.
The princesses of Bavaria used [...]